Hip Moms Who Work

There are some things that a vast majority of women do that really give us all a bad name. I’m gonna call us out on it right now. And, btw, I am guilty of all of these to some extent or another…

- Putting a little bowl candy your desk at the office. Ever see a guy do this? No. Why not? Because it’s stupid. You’re not there to feed your co-worker’s or give them a sugar buzz; you’re there to work.

- Decorating your cubicle like it’s a room in your house. I knew one women whose cube felt like a living room – ambient lighting, photo frames, artwork, a mirror. (And, if you have a poster of a kitty hanging from a tree with a “Hang in there” on it everyone will wonder how you passed the psychological screening administered by HR during the hiring process.) I get that it makes the cube more enjoyable, but this isn’t where you live, despite how many hours you spend here. Keep your cube sparse and put more effort into your work.

- Taking forever to pull out of  a parking space. If I’m at the store searching for a parking and space and a man and a woman are getting into separate cars at the same time I will 100% of the time wait to pull into the guy’s space. Women jack around. They fumble for their keys, sometimes even hoisting their handbag onto the hood of the car to conduct a thorough search; they take forever to put things into their car (usually in the trunk or backseat); they check themselves out in the mirror. Guys have their keys in their pockets, toss their bag on the passenger seat and are outta there. They’re crude, yet efficient.  (Same goes for checkout lines at stores. Guys move faster.)

- Talking incessantly about your children. A few anectdotes about the kids here and there is great, but constant droning about your kids is annoying. And when you’re around people who don’t have kids, unless they ask you specifically about your children, don’t bring ‘em up because people without kids could give a rip about yours. Harsh, but true. BTW, I am guilty of telling stories about my kids when no story was called for…and I always feel like a freak after I do it.

- Choosing clothes based upon what’s in style and not what looks good on your body type. Case in point: skinny jeans. Whoever brought the skinny jean back should be removed from society, but until that arrest takes place women need to know that this style is not for everyone. Just because it’s the “in” thing does not mean you look good in it. Skinny jeans only look good on people who are underweight, so unless you’re a size zero, you should really stick to another style of jean. Same goes for other fashions. Clothes that fit right and flatter never go out of style…almost.

- Similar to the point above, wearing age-inappropriate clothing. When trying something on ask yourself the following two questions: Would a 12-year-old wear this? Would my mother-in-law wear this? If the answer to either question is “yes”, place the item back on the rack and move along.

- Saying ‘yes’ all of the time. We hate letting people down. I get it. It’s part of our genetic make-up, but I’ve seen many a woman go batty because they over-commit, over-subscribe and then resent it. Being helpful is great but we need to learn to say ‘no’ sometimes (although not all of the time). People will keep asking you for things and soon you’ll feel like they’re taking advantage of you, which leads to resentment, which leads to bitterness, which can be construed as bitchiness.  Say ‘no’ occasionally. It’s empowering, it’s your right, and you will be better at what you’ve already said ‘yes’ to. Say it with me, “NO!” I can’t hear you, “NO!!!” Good job.

- Bad driving skills. You can’t have a list like this without mentioning driving. Stop putting your make-up on while driving. By all means do not text while driving. Use your earpiece if you need to talk on the phone. Do not keep turning around and looking at your kids while driving. Nose picking is fine (oh, come on, don’t pretend like you don’t do it) as long as you keep your eyes on the road.

I know I’m missing a bunch. Feel free to add your observations in the comments section below.

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