Hip Moms Who Work

Dear Santa, do not bring these gifts to my house or you and I are done.

FOR HER
Peter Petrie Egg Separator
The yolk stays in the head, while the egg white drips from Peter’s nostrils. Great for making holiday meringue!

Yoga Toes
I would rather have a bunionectomy.

Silicone Pop-up Booty Enhancer
And, the tagline for the company, which produces this fine product is “Our Duty is Your Booty”. Genius.

White Trash Cooking I & II
Although Twinkie Pie sounds tempting, I’ll pass.

FOR HIM
Adult Footie Pajamas
No one over the age of 7 should ever wear footie pajamas. This guy looks like a complete tool, btw.

The Potty Putter
When they run out of things to read…

Razorba Back Shaver
I wonder if they make an extended handle so you can shave your butt? (Why did they have this guy pose with his shirt on? And, what’s with the table? Is it there to catch falling back hair?)

FOR THE KIDS
Cat-a-pult Cat Hurler
You gotta be on sick bastard to own one of these. I don’t even like cats and I think this is just wrong.

Pole Dancing Doll
After seeing this, one friend of mine asked if it came with  drunk Ken doll waving a wad of $20’s. I thought that comment was pretty freakin’ hilarious.

White Trash Barbie
This is so wrong that I almost didn’t post it. I wonder if she and pole dancing dolly are BFFs?

Decapitated Teddy Bear Lamp
Especially good for kids who suffer from frequent nightmares.

FOR THE DOG
Snuggie for Dogs
Um, okay. No.

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