Hip Moms Who Work

Necessity is the mother of invention, I suppose. So scientists are trying all sorts of ways to come up with fossil fuel alternatives and The Daily Green has compiled a list of eight of the weirdest ideas out there. I have summarized them below:

Chocolate – Apparently, anything with fat in it can be turned to diesel so researchers in the UK have turned to reject batches of Cadburys to create biodiesel to fuel cars. I would buy this car and never have to make dessert again. After dinner, we’d all just go out to the garage and lick our car’s tailpipe.

Used Diapers – A Canadian company is taking used baby diapers and is planning on processing approximately 180 million diapers per year – one quarter of Quebec’s used diaper output – and making it into a mix of “gas, oil, and char”. I shit you not. You ever get a good waft of old diapers when you emptied the Diaper Genie? Packs a real punch. Am not at all surprised that harnessing that stench could power a 4,000-lb vehicle.

Biomass (e.g., sawdust, wood chips, nuts) – This is kinda boring and actually the emissions aren’t much better than fossil fuel, but it reduces the amount of this stuff sitting around emitting methane (a greenhouse gas), so it does have a positive net effect. But it really is rather boring. Dirty diapers are way more fun. Just sayin’.

Turkey Guts – “Americans consume an estimated 45 million turkeys on Thanksgiving,” is what The Daily Green reports. That a lot of flippin’ birds! And, think about how much of the actual bird gets thrown out in the process – intestines, feathers, beaks…Some dudes in Missouri (because what else is there to do in Missouri?) came up with a way to melt it all down into fuel. Problem is that the process emits quite a stink and the neighbors are complaining. Hey, no guts, no glory…or in this case, no gas.

Cow Burps and Farts – Cows are big producers of methane out of both ends (they burp more than they fart). Methane is 23 times more potent than CO2! Get this stat: According to the UN, the livestock industry (this includes the entire process, not just the cows) is responsible for 18% of global warming emissions.  And this number is supposed to grow as meat production increases. There’s a dairy farm in Vermont that has converted the cow waste into methane and is burning it to fuel their farm. They’re even selling the energy to a nearby college. I hear going to school there is a real gas.





Human Fat – Oh, you just can’t make this stuff up. There’s a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills who uses fat from liposuction procedures to fuel his Ford SUV and his girlfriend’s Lincoln Navigator (you can tell by his vehicle purchase, he is very eco-conscious).  Maybe he’ll start “a free tank of gas with every lipo procedure” promotion. Or, maybe you go in for a consult and he can estimate how far the fat from your ass will take you. “Looks like you have a good six hundred miles in these saddlebags, Andrea.”

Coffee Grounds – Well, if this one was possible to do at home, I could start a filling station in my driveway. Coffee grounds actually take long time to degrade (I did not know that and now am overcome with guilt about my insatiable coffee habit). You know how coffee looks oily? Apparently, coffee contains 10-15% of usable oil that can be converted to biofuel.  A study says used cappuccino scraps can offset our imported oil – as much as 340 million gallons a year from the world’s 15 billion pounds of annual coffee production. Starbucks needs to start installing gas pumps now. They’re already in the fuel business anyway. It’s a natural extension of their brand.

Styrofoam – They can melt polystyrene into a fuel additive that can be used in diesel vehicles.  Boring, but good since the stuff is so bulky and difficult to break down. But, come on, way to end this list on a down note. Ugh.

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